my simple life

Sunday, March 23, 2008

eunice, mrs gan and me. i shall start accepting the fact tat i'm always the shortest. :(

my dearest friend!

cindy, me, eunice..

ntu poster girl lita, cindy and me!

eunice was here few days ago. she stayed over my place on wed night and we had lunch with mrs gan at moe on thurs. and she went back again today. i'm glad that she visits so often. doesn't feel like she's not in sg! haha. in fact, i see her more than i see some of my friends in smu or ntu! :P

went for dinner with eddie, lita and cindy at holland v. it was a great time catching up with lita. and somehow, ntu ppl seems more positive and happy with their lives. unlike those of us in nus. we need more optimistic ppl in nus and smu. and i need to be more optimistic.

5 more weeks to exams. i have only 5 weeks to save myself. it's a bit scary. now that i'm really officially done with all the hall activities, it's really time to start camping in biz lib.

ps, amplitude and cmb concert pictures on facebook. =)

Friday, March 14, 2008

Out Of Reach
Gabrielle

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

it has been a terrible week.

monday, lead singer for this sunday's concert told us that she can't make it on sun. so we had to find a replacement and prac watever that we've been learning for the past few months. it felt terrible. really terrible. the disappointment and the feeling that all your efforts have been wasted. thankfully val agreed to help. really thankful for that. and after all the intensive prac for the past few days, it turned out rather well. =)

then had proj meeting. for heat exchanger design. i was super lost. i felt stupid. i didn't know wat was going on. and i felt bad for the group. we were going no where. sigh.

and also the proj for catalytic naphta reforming. same case. i really need to spend some time to read up on the readings and materials.

tues, had 7 + 2 hrs of lessons. wasn't in the right state of mind to do anything else at night.

wed, went for the interhall bash. i went late and i came back early. i know i shouldn't go. cause i had a lot of things to do. but i just wanted to de-stress. although i spent only abt 2 plus hrs there, it was enough to add on to the series of unfortunate events this week. the drinks were sucky (oh wells, wat to expect.. it was free..) and some bastard puked on me on the way back. right before

we reached hall in the chartered bus. seriously wtf. it wasn't a lot. but it was disgusting. how sueh. only this kinda sueh things can happen to me. and the worst thing is, i didn't know the person, and he was such a bastard that he haven't apologized even after 3 days. wat a jerk. argh. i'll rmb him and i will give him the bitchy look everytime i see him in hall. argh. still so pissed.

and to add on to all these shitty things, my comp have to give me problems. i can't view my webcasts on IE. brought it to the computer centre in sch, they tried to do a lot of things. still couldn't solve the prob. they asked me to format my comp. argh. so reluctant to do so. it'll take me so long to back up my things.

and i was so disappointed with my tuttee (is there such a word?). everytime i go over to give him tuition, he'll never complete his work. the other day he had work that was due 3 weeks ago. i felt that i'm wasting my time everytime i go teach. and i was very disappointed with myself for not being able to guide him well. i'm spending 2 times a week for this tuition. i feel that it's not worth my time (although i get paid,my only source of income at the moment).. i dun feel like teaching anymore. but i'll be such a bitch if i just stop now. he's in sec 4 now. will be having o lvls at the end of the year.

mentoring prog also not making my life easy. can't find volunteers. i'm having a shortage of manpower at the moment. and all the current volunteers quitting one by one cause they can't commit. the ppl that i asked all told me that they can't commit or they're not interested. the ppl who came for interview pulled out in the end also. and i think my mentee is not happy with me also.

seems like i can't handle ALL the things that i have at hand well. which makes me question myself for doing the things that i do. for the sake of doing it? or for wat?

sigh. so depressing. i just needed to whine. ahh. i'm not supposed to be whining so much i know. but just can't help it. i'll be fine after i whine. and i'm really grateful for friends ard me. for the tags on my tagboard, the sms-es to show concern, the note i find on my table together with sweets and chocs just to cheer me up, the encouragements and hugs. so touched. =)

note from emily that was on my table when i came back my room just now. she left 'a collection of all things sweet' to sweeten up my life.

but bad things aside, there were few things that made me happy! haha. i've got a mail! from alice! all the way from sydney. she sent me a compilation of songs that's burned in a cd. it came with 2 lip balm. was so glad. yes, i know, there're ppl out there who loves me. just that they're all far far away.

the mail that i received from alice.

and the cd and lip balms that came in the mail

and finally. someone who made my day today. ana, the resident fellow's daughter. was playing in my room. she's so cheerful, so bubbly, so cute. she gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. something that i needed today.

concert on sun at ucc, and wed at fort canning park. anyone interested to come watch? both are free! haha.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

SIGH

i kept on telling myself that things will be over and i'll have time to concentrate on studies. BUT IT'S NEVER GONNA BE OVER. ARGH. how frustrating. when i thought i can start studying after production, now amplitude concert on sun. so this whole week is JAM PACKED with practices and SOUND CHECK, then all the tuition and mentoring. NOT TO FORGET THE COUNTLESS PROJECT MEETINGS, ASSIGNMENTS, TUTORIALS, LECTURES ETC.

JUST KILL ME. SERIOUSLY. i dunno how much longer i can take this stress. it's killing me.
and i kept on telling myself to stay strong. dun breakdown. but i'm losing the drive. losing that bit of hope. i feel suffocated in this pile of mess. wat a f*cked up life.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

take a 'chew pew'

top left: joyce huang (bim bim 2), bottom right: joyce chan (the original bim bim)

joyce huang, valerie, me, joyce chan

girls' night out at clarke quay. good way to de-stress after a terrible week of tests. =) just nice to take a 'chew pew' (the bims way of saying chill pill) and slack ard. but reminder to self: no more such things after end of this coming week. time to mug. yeanching has a lot of catching up to do. the coming weekend would be amplitude (a combined hall acapella and choir concert, wanna come?). it shall be my last event b4 i start my daily 'ritual' at biz lib. haha.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

it's risky to have 3 blogger accounts. i almost posted this one at blkcdiary. haha. it'll be quite wierd if i accidentally posted a personal blog post on the blk's blog. haha. but anyway, went for baowei's concert yesterday night with daryl and shar. my 3rd nus dance ensemble concert. =D and every concert never fail to entertain. and yeah, obviously the 3 of us were cam-whoring. haha. wat's new? :P

life is pretty depressing. spent the whole day trying to do my assignment. yet, still can't complete even 1 out of the 4 qns. argh. super pissed. and i haven't started on my other assignment. boo.

was dreading a sat eve alone in hall, till i heard some noises coming from the short wing. so i went over to see who were there. two joyces, val, clylysce, abhi were there. and they managed to psycho me to go take a 'chew pew' at clarke quay with them. yup, say bye bye to depressing sat night. shall finish up the assignment when i get back later. =)

Friday, March 07, 2008

"I Told You So"

Carrie Underwood

Suppose I called you up tonight

And told you that I love you

And suppose I said I wanna come back home

And suppose I cried and said I think I finally learned my lesson

And I'm tired of spending all my time alone

If I told you that I realize you're all I ever wanted

And it's killing me to be so far away

Would you tell me that you love me to

And when we cry together

Would you simply laugh at me and say

I told you so

Oh, I told you so

I told you someday you'd come crawling back and asking me to take you in

I told you so

But you had to go

Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever

Would you get down on yours too and take my hand

Would we get that old time feeling

Would we laugh and talk for hours

The way we did when our love first began

Would you tell me that you miss me too

And that you've been so lonely

And that you've waited for the day that I returned

And we live and love forever

And that I'm your one and only

Would you say the tables finally turn

Would you say I told you so

Oh, I told you so

I told you someday you'd come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so

But you had to go

Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again

Now I found someone new and you will never break my heart in two again