finished econs and physics today.. both paper sucked.. sigh... didn't have enough time to finish physics.. didn't do one whole essay question.. hmm.. tt's like 20 marks.. left a lot of other questions blank too... then stupid econs.. crap case study on msia's economy.. do i care? haha.. although i'm a malaysian.. hehe.. practically wrote 4 pages of crap... luckily essay wasn't tt bad... maybe can pass la.. haha...

felt so bad even before physics paper this morning.. so hurt by ppl's comment.. they say things like, "aiyar, go away scholar.. dun come and complain to us tt u will fail your exams... " or "aiyar, u scholar wat.. sure will do well wan... " i just wanna say tt, i'm still a normal human being ok..if given a choice i dun wanna be a scholar! have to endure with this kinda stupid comments.. or not ppl like kwek will nag when i dun do my tutorials, score badly during class test etc... wth.. there'll always be a barrier between the scholars and non-scholars.. somehow feel like ppl classify us as 'scholars'.. fyi, most of the scholars dun like to be called scholars! i take it as a personal insult! i just wanna be a normal student.. those who dun feel guilty when they slack, dun need to face other ppl's expectation... sigh.. but i guess it's so much better in vj compared to tk.. so shall not feel so bad abt it.. life as a scholar will end in 5 months time.. =)

i can't believe i stoned and rot for 1 month...
summary of the hols:
1st week-went home, SAT test
2nd week- chalet, outing, visit to mrs gan's place, under no roof
3rd week- stayover night at airport, mug mug mug, watch mr & mrs smith, mug mug mug again
4th week- more mugging.. =S

1 month gone.. another 2 more months, prelim, then A lvls, then i'll be free! at least for 6 months? haha.. dunno wat's life gonna be after A's.

plans after A's:
1. go learn driving!
2. continue piano? haha.. wanna finish my grade 8 exam. but dunno whether worth to take not.. almost failed my grade 7 exams. and tt was 4 yrs back. haven't been 'playing' piano for so long alr. fingers kinda 'stiff' alr.. can't even play some simple songs properly. sigh. i just wasted my 10 years (or even more) learning piano...
3. get a job. haha. but dunno wat kinda job to get. maybe i should try to apply to teach in convent (my previous secondary school). but i might end up teaching my younger sister! =S and she's so well known in sch. i think i'll be known as 'yeanmay's sister' instead.
4. explore KL. haha. i damn sotong in KL wan lar. always get lost. must ask ppl like suet lee who studies in kl to bring me around.

haha.. i'm just wasting time here. daydreaming.. refusing to study.. i got no paper tmr wat. haha. sheesh, today's maths was horrible.. felt so bad after the paper. i think this is the worst maths paper. sigh. my only hope for an A gone.. left so many questions blank. i calculated those that i left blank also total up to 30 marks alr. after discussion with the rest, realised more mistakes. sigh.

oh, it's my sis's birthday today! haha. she's 22 alr. so old. haha. and i forgot to wish her yesterday night. sigh. have been so forgetful lately. even forgotten father's day. realised it 2 days ago. sigh. wat a lousy daughter. nv send card bad enough alr, didn't even wish ler..

haha.. ok lar, time to go back to econs and physics.. argghhhhh....

saturated doesn't mean concentrated... nothing is going in alr.. but i finished tt 2 chapters! yay! unemployment, inflation, low income lvl, full employment, government expenditure, interest rate, investment, fiscal policy, monetary policy, all the cost, benefit, limitations of all 6 policies... whoa... i studied so much stuff in 1 night time! haha.. realised tt most of the stuff are familiar.. like studying sec 4 social studies... all the examples in my lecture notes all based on s'pore's economy.. how limited.. wheeee.... but still can't answer past year case study question.. *sobz* but it's ok. cause they won't repeat the same case study, right? haha.. i'm so 'optimistic'.. like real.. just trying to make myself feel a bit better but it's not helping.. can't wait for exams to be over.. haha.. 5 days! wheeeeee.... i think i'm going mad.. but it's ok.. exams always make me go mad.. the difference is in the lvl of madness only.. and i think my roommate is irritated with my 'madness' *oops* she was sleeping just now then i go disturb her.. then she woke up nv talk to me then walk out of the room... aye.. how?? should've learnt from dodo, not to disturb fellow roommates when they're sleeping... haha.. suddenly thought abt those days in dunman.. always like to go around disturbing ppl who're sleeping... esp zee and seetha.. haha.. zee forever won't wake up wan... have to pull away all her comforter, bolster and pillow then jump on her bed or pull her out of her bed only she'll wake up... haha... then seetha will make funny noises when she sleeps.. *croak croak*.. like frog like tt... haha... then we used to 'camp' in zee's room when munyuk stays out.. eunice will sleep on munyuk's bed, zee sleep on her own bed, then seetha will drag her mattress from her room next door and put in btwn zee and munyuk's bed.. then seetha and I will cram on tt mattress.. then middle of the night u'll hear those noise.. *croak croak* hahaha... hmm.. miss all those times.. maybe i should sneak in chinese high hostel again.. haha.. can add on to my list of 'things to do after exams'. haha...

finally picked up my econs notes on macroeconomics problems and policies.. cause i realised tt if i skip this 2 chapters i'll most likely fail my block test since i dunno wat the hell is going on in the chapter of role of money... sigh.. damn a lot of things to study.. inflation, unemployment, economic growth and all 6 policies to overcome all these problems... i'm now at unemployment.. =S hope i can finish it tmr so i got some time to revise the rest before block test.. heck bout GP alr.. haha.. prepared to fail!

essence of chicken + coffee + hostel food = stomachache + headache

stinky prc in the study room, noisy vs boys, hot weather.. sigh.. bad time to study...

haha... i shall list down the things to do after exams instead of studying.. hehe..
1. roller blading/cycling
2. make cheese cake!
3. buy yeanpeng and yongjian's bday gifts
4. watch 'a lot like love!'
5. go out with ex-classmates! yay! celebrate mingyun's bday at the same time.. haha.. damn belated birthday celebration.. her bday was on 27th may.. haha.. like 1 month ago alr..
6. sleep
7. clean toilet..
8. tidy up my room..
9. make mango pudding
10. read story book...
11. make a new pouch for my mp3 player..
12. play piano! haven't been playing for so long alr... should go esplanade library to get more scores.. yay! then can go bang the piano in the function room.. haha...
13. hmm... can't think of anything else right now... haha...

sigh.. everytime during exams then i'll get gastric.. the last time was when we were having SPA.. eww.. have to eat all those horrible antacid.. damn disgusting.. yuck..

have been studying physics for the past few days.. but still dun really understand some chapters esp quantum and superposition.. why am i taking physics? sigh.. killing my brain cells only.. 1 more week!

oh, my little brother is turning 6 in few days time! haha.. he's growing up damn fast lar.. sigh, he's gonna be taller than me very soon... then i'll be the shortest in the family.. *sobz* so irritating, even my younger sis, who's 4 yrs younger than me, is taller than me..

haha... mum called and say tt i need to be home! fr 8-10th of june for grandpa's 2 yrs death aniversary prayers.. aye.. so fast 2 yrs liao... *sobz* but life goes on.. well, at least i get to visit grandpa's place.. haven't been there for so long.. a lot of childhood memories there.. hmm.. hope mrs chan approve my application.. even if she doesn't i'll try ways to get my passport.. haha.. maybe can cry again.. haha..

as usual, another mugging day.. started studying physics finally... went out to watch mr & mrs smith though! brad pitt damn cute! haha... but he's old.. anyway, time to sleep... =)

wang le you duo jiu, zai mei ting dao ni,
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi
wo xiang le hen jiu, wo kai shi huang le
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me
ni ku zhe dui wo shuo, tong hua li dou shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong, cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le
wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou bian cheng chi pang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi le
xing fu he kuai le shi jie ju

this is one of the very few chinese songs tt i like... so touching!
wo ye xi wang yi tian wo neng gou zhao dao wo tong hua de wang zi... =)

sleep, study, eat, study, eat, study, sleep

oh crap... 6.5 hrs ago i was shooed out of the study room by the guard... it was 12am.. i brought my stuff back to my room, wanted to continue studying econs... when i came back to my room, the first thing i did was to on my laptop.. checked some mail, signed in msn, etc etc... then i picked up vidia's book on the table, 'The Undomestic Goddess'... read the first chapter, thought it was quite nice... but was quite tired alr.. so went and brush my teeth... was on my bed alr.. but continued to read the book... was planning to read till i fall asleep... yupz, and without realising it, 6 hrs later, i'm still awake... finished reading the book... switched my laptop on again, posting this entry.. i think i'm going mad... reallly going mad... sigh... hmm.. i feel as if i'm in the same position as the protagonist in the book... what i need now is to find for the thing that i really like and appreciate in life.. but i can't seem to find it.. feeling lost... just lost.. everything seem to be in a mess.. sigh..

just came back after staying 14 hrs at the airport with alice and vidia... we were planning to meet cindy and dwee's arrival but came out with this silly idea of staying overnight at the airport.. so we left the hostel after dinner yesterday..
8.20pm: Left hostel..

8.35pm: reach changi airport terminal 1, went to fairprice to buy some junk food to last for the night...

8.50pm: found a place to study at viewing mall, outside swensons... we were sitting on the floor with our stuffs on the bench.. used the bench as 'table'... we 'attracted a lot of attention.. those ppl who walked past us must be thinking "what are this 3 girls doing here? studying? crazy..." was trying to understand econs.. terms of trade... protectionism... got bored after a while.. ended up chatting, eating, slacking...

12.00am: time to change place... cannot concentrate at that place anymore.. moved to the nearby 24 hrs foodcourt... continue chatting... then took some nap..

2.00am: left the foodcourt... took the lift to departure hall...wanted to move to terminal 2 cause bored of terminal 1... we were in the lift with 3 ang mohs.. when they left they told us tt we were '3 lovely ladies'.. haha... went to the skytrain to find out tt skytrain doesn't work in the middle of the night... walked around the departure hall.. wanted to go to a toilet.. but it says 'cleaning in progress'.. i thought tt sign was left there long ago.. so i opened the door.. guess wat? they do clean the toilet at the airport even around 2.30am! got scolded by the auntie inside "use other toilet!" so we went to another toilet... and brushed our teeth! hahahaha... feel quite dumb... we were hoping tt nobody would come in, then suddenly got this lady walked in... was quite embarrassed..

3.00am: went to burger king... to our horror, we found ppl studying there! so we weren't the only mad ones after all... there were 2 guys studying alone at seperate tables and this grp of 4, 2 tables away from us.. of course we ordered some food and pig out again! did a bit of maths.. normal distribution... but cannot tahan.. was sleeping most of the time.. damn tired alr... oh, we even wrote on a paper to prepare to meet cindy and dwee's arrival.. "miss lawer and miss dwiyanti. Victoria Hall. sun and seas, friends and home, all in victoria hall... " hahahah... used pink and orange marker to make it stand out!

5.30am: couldn't stand it anymore.. slept for 30 mins..

6.00am: we were all 'zombiefied'.. decided to leave bk cause more and more ppl came.. giving us those stares again... went and eat breakfast at the staff canteen.. purposely ate slowly to waste time... had to wait for another 4 hrs for dwee and cindy to reach...

7.00am: took the skytrain to terminal 2... walked ard terminal 2 aimlessly...

7.45am: finally found seats at the departure hall... slept there by sitting on the floor and resting our heads on the seats... we probably looked dumb again.. but who cares... super tired alr...

8.30am: woke up from that short 'nap'... whole body aching.. start to wander around again... went to browse at shops at terminal 2... and finally went into a bookstore.. read trashy magazines like seventeen, cosmopolitan etc...

9.45am: finally time to go back to terminal 1 to wait for cindy and dwee...

10.00am: anticipating for their arrival... but they were not out yet... apparently their plane landed 3 minutes ago!

10.10am: stoning while holding the piece of paper..

10.15am: we saw ppl collecting their luggage at the belt.. but no signs of both of them...

10.25am: comtemplating whether we should give them a call or not.. but it was meant to be a surprise.. so didn't call in the end...

10.30am: they finally came out! it was so anti-climax... we were just laughing when we saw both of them walking out... then laugh laugh laugh...

10.35am: figuring out how we can fit 5 ppl into a cab... at the same time, deciding who should be the one taking bus back while the other 4 take cab... even came out with the idea tt me, alice and vidia take cab with dwee and cindy's luggage then both of them take bus... haha...

10.40am: final decision, cindy and dwee take cab.. the 3 of us, bus...

10.45am: waited for bus no 36 at the place where we were at 14 hrs ago.. basement of terminal 1...

11.00am: board the bus... slept straight away.. made alice stay awake so tt she can wake us up when we reach hostel...

11.20am: reach hostel... came back to my room, on my com, type this post....

12.40pm: just finished typing this post... dozing off alr... zzZzz.... man, i took 1 hr to type all these..

today is 'duan wu jie' where it's the time to eat 'zong zi'.. would've be at home eating delicious zong zi tt aunt will make but went for under no roof instead.. just wanted to take part in something that i thought would be fun.. but it ended up to be so tiring.. i'm almost dead now.. =S i woke up at 540am, having only 3.5 hrs of sleep.. reached tanjong pagar mrt at 710am.. met up with my group members(baowei, tianyu, justin, waikeung, zicheng, amos, sean, daryl)... went to bestway building, registered and waited for the event to start on the wet field filled with grasshoppers and snails(cause it rained few hrs ago).. my team (team 34!) was quite dead initially.. but as we proceed, it was better... our first station was to look for a park from the 'puzzle' tt we had to fix.. we took around 20 to 30 mins to look for tt park.. trust me, following the crowd works! haha.. then we were assigned to collect newspaper from block 8, lvl 20-27.. we didn't even know where was blk 8, so had to look around... when we reached we split our team to 3 grps and guess wat? none of us managed to collect any newspaper! most of the doors tt we knocked on was not answered, then the rest said they gave their newspaper away alr.. when we came down from the block we saw other grps collected stacks of newspaper... so we tried to look for some at any place tt we came across.. community centre, temple, hawker center, coffee shop.. none of the ppl at these places had newspaper! how ridiculous.. in the end we got some from kim's grp.. so nice of them.. and amos managed to get few more.. we went back and got our newspaper measured.. we only collected a total of 18cm height of newspaper! wow! how great! the grp next to us got 2.5m? haha..
next, we were given a strip of paper with some designs on it, thread and beads(really small beads).. we were supposed to thread the beads using the different colours provided to look like the design of the paper tt was given to us.. tt took us some time to complete.. and i had fun doing it! haha.. even guys like sean was so excited to do.. haha.. the rest just stone...
after doing the beads we went back to the bestway building for our next clue.. which was supposed to be the lunch station.. we were only given plain bread, biscuits and banana for lunch.. (all the food starts with 'b'!) i was complaining bout the food.. sigh.. was super hungry at tt moment then only got those kinda horrible food..for once i was craving for hostel food.. after lunch we went to our next station the stoning station! damn.. took more than half an hour to walk to tt place and all they asked us to do was STONE FOR 30 MIN! stone with blindfold + squatting position + under hot sun... no japanese style of squat, no plucking of grass, no form of communication, no hands on the ground etc.. after 30 mins everybody was damn pissed off alr... justin was cursing all the way when we walked tt 30 min walk back to bestway building... next was our last station.. another stupid station.. we were supposed to look for GREEN BEANS at the plot of lands allocated for us.. there were apparently 60 green beans in tt plot of land.. but i only manage to find 4! which was quite good alr... our grp found 10 in total.. i think i saw more maggots than green beans... on our way back to bestway building (again!), we collected items to build our 'home'... managed to find an old curtain, some strings, 2 poles, some gunny sack, stones, cardboards, wood plank etc.. we only had around 40 mins to build a house which can fit all 9 of us! luckily got daryl in our grp.. he was the one who built most of the house.. haha.. yay! our house was one of the biggest around.. and we had diffrerent materials... everyone else used things like newspaper and cardboard... we had curtains! haha... i think the only fun part for the whole day was building that house... at least it was something meaningful..
after a whole day of 'poverty' our grp went and splurge on dinner! haha... went to eat pastamania... then after pastamania went to another restaurant for a drink cause got some buy 1 free 1 promotion.. apparently special for us only.. went back hostel half dead.. gg to sleep soon... oh, alice gonna sleep in my room tonight! cause we were talking bout ghosts just now then she freaked out.. haha.. dun dare to sleep alone cause rong nan not back from china yet.. haha...

i can hear the vs choir guys practicing their choir piece.. they're singing itsumo nando demo.. the piece tt section 2 screwed during our harmoc concert.. the song sounds better when vj choir sang it for symphony of voices last year.. even sounded better on harmoc than vs choir guys.. haha..
anyway, just came back from harmoc chalet.. i like the chalet! it was at safra changi.. the place is super nice although i heard tt it is haunted.. love the breakwater right outside the entrance of the chalet.. so windy... was there with weishan and fabian... then every 5 mins can see airplane take off... reminds me of those days during my SATS job attachment.. we were flying kite when we reach the chalet.. haha.. at first i thought it was quite childish to fly kite but it ended up to be super fun... so sad tt our kites didn't manage to fly very high... after flying kite we went back to the chalet and started playing mahjong.. won few sets only.. so sad... was one of the lousiest player.. only knew how to get a 'hu'... then the rest of the stuff tt they were talking abt all blur alr.. then we started the bbq.. omg, the juniors prepared soooo much food... one whole big tray of beehoon, then ard 100 chicken wings, 200 satays, 200 otah, corn, marshmellow(yummy!), jelly, alumni brought some kueh from bengawan solo... was practically eating most of the time.. but still have so much leftovers.. maybe because not many ppl turn up... maybe ard 30-40 ppl.. the food was prepared for ard 50-60 ppl i guess.. then everybody was so engrossed in mahjong and tv.. so nobody really help to bbq.. i was practically bbq-ing from 5 plus all the way to 10 plus.. of course not the whole 5 hrs lar.. got slack a bit here and there.. but was quite pissed cause the mahjong ppl didn't even come out to the bbq pit at all.. they were practically waiting for us to serve them food... alumni came.. some 98 and 03 batch plus tt golden rabbit and mingyao.. was quite irritated with tt stupid golden rabbit.. he really proved to me tt he's irritating! was practically disturbing me when i was bbq-ing food for him.. didn't even help then stand there and tease me.. he have lousy pick up lines like wat yuensiang said, "can i do a short survey?".. and his survey questions were like "are u attached, wat's so bad bout me? etc etc " wth... oh, when we were bbq-ing there was this guy who came and promote a book 'change your life in 5 days.. ' he was telling us tt the book helped him change his life and he wants to share it with other ppl.. he said tt book is sold at popular at $19.90 but he's selling at $5. then all of us wasn't even paying attn to watever he was saying, then in the end we told him tt nobody is interested.. so he left.. after 5 mins he came back with the book and say, i dun need this anymore, i can give it to u ppl.. -_-'' how dumb... we would've wasted our money if we bought the book from him... then another woman came and offered us ice.. so we took.. then after tt she came with more stuff like charcoal, dishwashing liquid, handwash liquid, table cloth, and a lot of kites! haha.. so we played more kites.. haha.. so nice of her... after the bbq i continued playing mahjong and bridge. haha.. jingzhi didn't win any set of bridge i think.. haha.. after tt was super tired then was sleeping at the living room.. but the mahjong n tv damn noisy.. so went upstairs to sleep in the room.. was squeezing on the small bed with li ru, jin ci and ivy! haha.. luckily i didn't fall.. haha.. when i woke up it was alr 7 am.. after packing up i left with emma cause her mum came n fetch her.. i took a lift cause i was carrying my radio.. didn't wanna take bus back.. the chalet was not bad but i think my class chalet last year was more fun..maybe because class chalet was longer.. we did more stupid things last yr like 'truth or dare'.. haha.. then all the secrets all revealed and a lot of stupid dares.. maybe because i was so irritated with golden rabbit, then spoil my mood for the entire night...

was typing a sms for li ping then suddenly mum called, then the message got erased! after the call i type again.. then somebody else called again! argh.. my sms got erased another time.. damn retarded.. stupid samsung phone.. sigh.. still think that nokia phones are better.. but can't they have better designs?

picture taken on my bday! =)

went to mrs gan's place today.. so glad to meet zee and seetha again.. it was quite a rare opportunity for us to go out together again.. so sad tt eunice wasn't around.. or not it would be the 4 of us together again.. missed life back in dunman... was looking at my photo album with su san just now.. suddenly got reminded bout life 3 yrs back when we were in sec 3... so carefree.. still got time to go play, celebrate mid autumn festival, national day, birthdays celebration... oh man, i dun even know wat happened to my ex roommates, seniors, friends, classmates, hostelmates.. sigh.. just lost touch with everybody.. just find it so difficult to keep in touch.. dunno wat to talk abt when u call, no replies when u message.. sigh.. i guess everybody is moving on with their lives...
anyway, i was talking bout the visit to mrs gan't place.. yup, her house was so nice! i wanna own a place like tt.. esp the ceiling to floor window which overlooks the scenery of the surrounding buildings.. so nice! and her place is very cosy.. just perfect for her.. we watched 'chasing liberty' at her place.. i was the only one who teared after watching the movie.. sigh, too emotional.. like wat my 16 pf report says, i'm emotionally unstable.. oh, and zee says tt she'll be moving to klang! woo hoo! tt would be so fun.. i got ppl to hang around with during the hols... i think she's moving in to glenmarie cove.. oh man, tt's also a very nice place.. my dream home.. super expensive estate.. but nvm, it's close to dad's factory, close to grandma's place... so convenient to visit her.. can't wait! haha.. then we also took few photos with mrs gan! haha.. i want those pictures! mrs gan is more like a close friend than a scholarship officer! haha.. can really feel tt she cares for us.. at least she makes an effort to be close to us.. haha.. she even suggested to hold more outings like today! with eunice!
i attempted to do some maths today.. but fell asleep 10 mins after i started.. oh man, i think i'm really gonna screw my block test... sigh... somebody please push me to study.. i dun have to urge to concentrate.. have been daydreaming a lot! high inertia... 3 weeks to go..

my roommate went back today.. boo hoo.. so sad.. i'm all alone in the room now.. gonna spend 1 whole week alone.. no one to entertain me.. was reading ber's blog.. she wrote tt her grandpa passed away.. suddenly got reminded abt my own grandpa's death 2 yrs ago.. still can remember vividly the moment when i went back just to visit him when he was in the hospital, not knowing tt it would be the last time tt i saw him.. so frail, lying on the bed of the hospital with all the medical equipment around him.. i was at least thankful tt he still could recognise me when i went and talk to him.. it's something tt i'm grateful for because he got more than 50 grandchildren and i doubt he can remember all.. miss him so much now.. those smiles on his face when we visit.. he used to fetch me behind his motorcycle around the place where he lived.. and how i used to play around with his cocoa seeds.. miss all those family gathering where we used to bbq, cook steamboat, play firecrackers during chinese new year.. really feel tt i lost that part of my life... haven't been back to grandpa's house for so long... haven't really been back since he passed away.. the last time was most prob cny when we only stopped by for 10 to 15 mins only.. sigh.. i dun feel like part of the family at all.. all those aunts, uncles, cousins.. they dun treat us as part of the family.. just last week, they went to cameron highlands without even inviting us... it was supposed to be a family gathering.. wth.. all those ungrateful ppl... didn't even thank dad for all he had done, all those sacrifices and stress he went through to help whenever anyone face any problems... sometimes i wonder, who will help us when any of my family member face any trouble? they will most likely say, "oh, we can't help.. we have our own set of problems.." grandpa must be feeling sad if he knows that the relationship between his children are so bad now.. the crux of the problem is still money.. is money really more impt than family ties? looks like it is true in the case of Liaw family. wat a disapointment.. miss grandpa so much... i think he;s such a great person.. someone who show so much care for grandma... so sad to see him cry when grandma left... he must have felt so empty without grandma in his last 2 years of his life.. having lived for 79 years, coming from china when he was young... i regret for not knowing him better... not talking to him often.. he could have taught me so much more things, could've known more interesting things bout him.. sigh.. i don't have the chance anymore.. why didn't realise all these earlier? how stupid... my life is full of regrets..

1more day to my SAT test... sigh.. damn worried.. how? everybody else seems to have good scores.. but actually i dun need it alr.. mum doesn't really wan me to go to US from the way she say it.. sigh.. feeliing damn lost now.. wat am i gonna do next year? i dun wanna regret like how i regretted coming for JC.. but there's nothing tt i can do.. my father is not some millionnaire who can afford to send me overseas.. i got 4 other siblings, my bro n sis both still in uni.. i dun wanna be stuck in s'pore! but i also dun wanna go back to msia.. how to broach this subject to my parents? they expect me to continue my sudies in s'pore... argh.. life sucks.. so many things to worry abt.. after SAT have to worry abt block test.. after block test, prelim, after prelim A's.. after tt dunno alr.. sigh.. but definitely have more things to worry abt... sigh..

just came back from msia after a week of holiday... quite an enjoyable holiday back home despite having to mug for SAT at home... was studying in the study room of the newly renovated home... was very comfortable... i finally have my own room after 18 years... plan to move in all my stuff to that room after my A's... met up with pinky and jiayong for lunch at Fruity on fri.. they bought those orange wristbands from me... pinky even helped me promote those bands to caiyun and bought 5 for her cousins... so in total i sold all 10 of my wristbands! yay! it was so nice to be at home.. nice food, comfortable bed.. was practically eating throughout my whole entire week.. gained around 3 kg! omg.. so sad tt i didn't get to meet suetlee, jolene and ding... haven't met jolene for years alr.. but everybody is so occupied with their own stuff.. sigh.. although i was in msia i was still in touch abt things happening in s'pore.. haha.. dodo actually updated me with results of soccer and hockey.. so sad tt soccer didnt win... and i heard tt mrs chan didn't give full day off on thurs.. she's so bias... argh.. can't stand her attitude.. she nv give credit for all the syf achievements and also for softball girls champ.. the only thing tt's impt for her is soccer.. sigh..