exams are finally over.. haven't been blogging for so many days cause of the hostel connection and also my virus infected laptop.. have been thinking bout a lot of things for the past few days.. a lot of things happened.. dunno where to start also.. after chem paper on thurs, went out with the class to watch movie.. watched war of the worlds... it was nice.. but a bit gruesome.. then was slacking at subway from 6 to 10pm.. haha.. then when i was walking to the bus stop to go back got a call from a friend. she told me tt her scholarship was terminated.. sigh.. i didn't know wat to say.. she's a very close friend.. didn't know wat to say, didn't know how to react.. i guess i'm just a lousy friend. dunno wat to do.. just kept queit throughout the phone call.. suddenly felt so traumatised... i saw 3 other close friends lose their scholarship.. now the 4th one.. and i've seen how this changed those 3 ppl's lives.. completely.. and i feel like i didn't do my part as a friend to help them cope with the changes that they had to face. sigh.. i'm such a lousy friend. arrgghh.. helped tt friend to move out of her hostel on sat.. met her parents.. i guess it's difficult for the whole family to have to face this. there would be more burden. financially especially. i realised tt i have to be more thrifty. i've been living in my own world for so long. dun really know wat it is like to be in a family facing financial problems. maybe i should change the way i spend my money and try to live completely on the allowance tt i get from my scholarship. seems impossibe though. maybe i should cut down on my phone bill first. after helping her to move to her uncle's place and also unpacking all her stuff, was so tired till i fell asleep on the couch. so paiseh.. hehe.. then went for dinner with her parents. then went back to chinese high hostel. was so tired and lazy to come back to my own hostel, so i decided to stay overnight at chinese high hostel. hehe.. i think it was my 4 time staying there i think. the security not tight at all.. or i was too pro to sneak in.. haha.. all 4 times was unplanned. so i had to borrow ppl's things.. haha... borrowed iput's shirt, yessica's shorts, shampoo, bath gel, contact lens case and solution, some prc's handphone charger... haha.. eunice treated us to pizza for supper! haha.. went to quee ee's room.. haha.. she wasn't in cause she went back to klang.. so i put a note on her mirror.. haha.. hope she saw it.. then went and disturb jono.. haha... she's a super funny 'boyfriend'.. very nice person to hang around with.. haha.. was so tired tt i fell asleep on reren's bed when jono was still in the room.. oops.. came back the next morning and slept the whole day.. still feeling very lethargic. went out with exclassmates from tk today. emma, mingyun, xinyi, simin.. haven't met them for so long.. feel so nice to hang around with them again.. was talking bout stuff tt happened during our tk times.. haha.. miss johara, mr conner, miss ho, mrs loke-yeo and her suspension, abraham's promise etc.. miss those times.. gonna organise a 4/4 outing soon.. haha.. hope more ppl can join us.. took the same bus back with vanessa.. was nv really close to her in tk but she's such a friendly person.. so much things to talk about.. haha.. eddie was on the same bus also.. he thought we were 'best' friends.. haha.. then went out for dinner with eddie cause it was alr 8pm when we reached the hostel... and the 4 days holidays are over.. have to go back to sch tmr.. sigh.. but this 4 days feels more like holidays than the june hols.. guess after today it would be mugging all the way... 5 more months..

was talking to mum on the phone.. was talking bout uni and stuff.. then she said 'i think it would be best if u stay in s'pore for uni.. it would save everyone the trouble esp your dad's wallet." this means tt i'm stuck in s'pore for the rest of my life.. crap... 4 yrs of uni + 4 yrs of bond... i would be around 27/28 yrs old.. sigh.. just feel tt my parents are not listening to me.. they have the right to worry bout the cost of studying overseas, so their solution is stay in s'pore. crap.. they nv seem to care whether i like it here or not. nv asked whether i'm doing fine here or not. they nv even ask whether i like it in s'pore or not. they just assume tt i'm doing fine here cause everything is going fine. good results, good life, no problems... when i tell my mum tt i'm super stressed here she would just say tt everyone is stressed. she just dun understand.. sigh.. i've tried to tell her tt i dun wanna stay in s'pore after A lvls. but, sigh.. no use.. after quarreling with her so many times her conclusion would still be s'pore. cause it's close to home, cheaper, dun need to consider so much things.. crap.. so irritating.. looks like the ending would still be NUS. lets wait and see what will happen next year.. 5 more months...